December 16th Advent day 20

 7Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God......¹¹ Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. ....¹⁹ We love because he first loved us.  1 John 4


Love is an easy word to say but a very difficult one to live.


Every now and again in life you come across someone who appears to be full to overflowing with love.  One of the people who was instrumental in my becoming a Christian was like that.   He was a young art teacher called Chris Howse - he was painfully shy but he came along to the youth group run by the parish church and he quietly loved people into the kingdom.  He had a stammer.  It must have been a bit of a nightmare for him being a teacher.  But I remember one afternoon sitting by the river watching him sketching and and a friend and I asking him why he believed in God.   He turned to us, his face shining, his eyes beaming, and without a single hesitation he spoke for about an hour, explaining the gospel, what Jesus meant to him.  Why he was so passionate about the good news.   Both my friend and I felt something holy was happening.  It was a most mysterious and profound experience.
Not long after this I gave my life to the Lord.  Chris left teaching and became a monk.  Of all the people I have ever known he was one of the only ones who was definitely cut out for the monastic life. 


The essence of loving is being unselfish.  Putting someone else before yourself.  And of course we are all pretty much rubbish at it.   We might manage to put our children before ourselves......most of the time.  And perhaps our spouses some of the time.  But basically we are selfish creatures and we find it hard to deny ourselves, to sacrifice, to prefer others genuinely and with pure motives and a good attitude.  Without seeking any recognition or reward. Consistently.  As a lifestyle.  It's hard.


We know we should do it.  We know God wants us to do it.  And yet........


I think they key is in the verses above - we love because He first loved us.  In other words, we are only able to love because He loves us.   When we are full of His love, only then do we have anything with which to love others.

What does it take to feel loved?  I'm not sure how often we stop to think about this.  But its important.  How is it that I receive love?  What makes me feel special, cherished, significant?   Is it someone spending time with me?  Someone telling me - speaking loving words?  Is it someone doing practical things to help me? Giving me gifts? Giving me a hug?   Gary Chapman has written his best selling book The 5 Love Languages which so helpfully discusses the way we express and receive love to each other as husband and wife, parent and child.  But before we can go there surely we need to know how we receive love from God?  How can we KNOW He loves us and experience that love in a meaningful way?


I have friends who have really struggled to know that God loves them.  I am very fortunate.  So far, in 25 years of being a Christian, I have never doubted it, or really been unable to feel it.   For me, I suppose I experience love through words - and God has always spoken to me.  Sometimes directly into my spirit and sometimes through other people or through circumstances.  Or through His word.  But I also need a to be loved physically.  To be touched and  held and hugged.   That's a bit more tricky I suppose, but there have been specific moments when God has most definitely touched my physical body.  It doesn't happen all the time, but when it does it is a sign to me that He is here, He is near, He loves me enough to reach out and touch me.


God loves us completely.  So He is always speaking, touching, helping, giving and spending time with us.  We need to learn how it is that we feel loved and then access those aspects of His love so that, knowing that He loves us.....REALLY knowing it, we can then love others.